I'll be the first to say it: I’m not a fan of New Year’s Resolutions. I’m all about healthy and positive self improvement, but I believe you don’t need a new year to work on those things or have to drastically change yourself to become “a better you”. You’re perfect the way you are!
But if you need that fresh start of 2021, I’ll support you all the way! There’s nothing wrong with setting healthy, attainable, and fulfilling goals for the new year.
As you brainstorm new goals, here’s three pieces of advice to remind your wonderful self of who you are and why you’re always enough no matter what goal you do or do not achieve:
1. Be gentle with yourself: body, mind, and soul
With the ups come the downs of being human, we tend to be very self-critical when things “don’t go to plan” or our (very high) expectations aren’t met. As we move into this time of “new year, new me”, our expectations are even higher. This leaves a looooot of room for disappointment and negative self-talk when we don’t achieve our goals and fail. Failure IS OK. How else would we grow and learn? As you brainstorm your personal goals, remember to practice patience with your body, mind and soul. Take a moment to look at all of the amazing things you accomplish each and every day (big and small). You’re only human, and doing a wonderful job at it but things won’t always go to plan so why fight the current when you can go with the flow?
2. Focus on yourself, not others
It’s allllll about you, baby! Your goals, your ambitions, your ideas of happiness all have one thing in common: who you are. Not who your best friend is or that person on social media that has their “life together”. Comparing yourself to others is something we’ve ALL been guilty of, how can we not when society makes it so easy to? To nip this in the butt try noticing when you’re *insert comparison here* and self-deprecating thoughts of why you’re not/don’t have *insert comparison here* pop into your head. Once you realize how often you do this, it’ll be easier to work on changing the narrative! Instead of saying “I wish we could go on a vacation like that” switch it up to “that’s great for them, once we save up enough we’ll be able to take a vacation perfect for us”. Your life is yours, and yours only. As you plan your resolutions/goals ask yourself what makes sense for you and your life?
3. Allow flexibility within your “why”
“Why?”, the most important question to ask yourself when brainstorming your goals. Deep down what’s sparking that flame? Figuring out why you’re putting time and energy into your goals helps you stay motivated. And while you’re kicking butt and checking-off those milestones, remember that your “why” is allowed to change!! Just because you started for one reason doesn’t mean that’s the end-all-be-all. People change, life gets weird, we move, get new jobs, the list goes on. Your original ‘why’ might not work for where you end up, and that’s totally ok. Adjusting your “why” and allowing yourself the flexibility to change takes off an enormous amount of pressure when things don’t go as planned.
I'm no goal-setting expert, but here are a few tools that I find really helpful for brainstorming and keeping on track:
- Wall calendars specific to that goal
- Pocket planners
- Pinterest boards of your favorite things/what inspires you/makes you feel good
- Journalling (this one reaaaallly helps me!)
- Setting phone reminders of your milestones
- Keeping a notebook for any and every thought that pops in your head
- Finding a blog or influencer that's a realistic and positive source of inspiration